Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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