This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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