Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
