At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
