I heard we made out
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
