Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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