I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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