He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
