And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
