Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
