Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
