i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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