I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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