Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize