Whod you bang
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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