I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
