So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
