Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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