TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
