how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
