OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
