Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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