she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
