My first STD was from a foam party
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
