i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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