We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
