Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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