nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
