hotel room ftw
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
