She said her name was "party"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
