so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
