There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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