Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
