I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
