Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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