I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
