Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize