Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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