please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
