i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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