Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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