yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
