Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
