But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
