WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
