I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
