i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
