Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
