Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
