i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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