this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
