I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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