Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
do herpes really smell.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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