This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
