i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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