Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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