I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
