I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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