Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
