She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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