Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't notice because vodka
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
